More than 1 in 6 Americans are 65 and older and the number continues to grow. But ageism continues to cast a dark shadow over the older adult demographic.“We live in an aging society, which is a wonderful, remarkable thing,” says Leanne Clark-Shirley, president and CEO of the American Society on Aging. “However, too many of us view aging with fear, denial and even hostility. We are all growing older. We can’t afford to limit ourselves and other people with such negative and harmful views, and why would we want to?”
According to ASA ageism “is stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination directed toward others or oneself based upon age.” ASA believes ageism is so pervasive in our society that it has made ageism the focus of its upcoming annual conference.
Here are some examples of ageism:
Two caveats before we dig deeper: Ageism exists on the other end of the spectrum too, with younger people often not taken seriously because of their age. And yes, aging does come with a variety of challenges so forgoing skateboarding or cleaning gutters, for instance, is a safety measure not an ageist attitude.
But let’s look at the negative effects of ageism and what action we can take.
Some older adults have negative attitudes and stereotypes about aging, what’s called “internalized ageism,” and that can be bad for your health.
Yale researcher Becca Levy is the author of “Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long & Well You Live.”
"I found that older people with more-positive perceptions of aging performed better physically and cognitively than those with more-negative perceptions," Levy writes. "They were more likely to recover from severe disability, they remembered better, they walked faster and they even lived longer (an average of 7 ½ years longer).”
Changing the Narrative, a nationwide initiative started in 2018 to end ageism, has put together several call-to-action pieces to help change the conversation, including your internal one.
For instance, instead of thinking you’re too old to try something new, tell yourself “I’m a lifelong learner. I’m curious. I want to know more.” Tell yourself – and your older friends – “I/You look good” without adding “for your age.”
And don’t be afraid to speak out when you don’t like how someone addresses you or treats you.
Just because you might bring your adult child to the car dealer to help you shop for a new car, doesn’t mean the salesperson should ignore you. “I’m buying the car so please address your comments to me,” you can say.
Or “My name is Mary, not dearie, so please call me by my name.”
Researchers at the University of Kansas Life Span Institute said that elderspeak or “baby talk” is common in nursing homes, hospitals and other settings where older adults are found, and can create miscommunication, reinforce negative stereotypes and erode older adults’ self-esteem.
“There are many positive ways to talk to our elders,” the research found. “Using a rich and varied vocabulary makes any conversation more interesting, and adults are able to learn new words over the course of their whole lifetime. Avoid using "honey" or "dearie" -- this keeps the conversation respectful. People with hearing loss do need amplification, but it is best to avoid raising the pitch or tone of your voice because this distorts the words. Express complex ideas in a chain of simple sentences. Repeat the main point or say it again another way -- don't just assume that the older person won't get it. The rule of thumb when communicating with seniors is -- one size does not fit all.”
At Kendal, the issue of elderspeak is addressed with staff when they are hired.
Explains Toni Merleno, Human Resources Director:
“New staff members are instructed never to use ‘baby talk’ or endearing terms such as ‘honey, sweetie, darling’ etc. as this is considered disrespectful and demeaning to the older adult, including those living with dementia. We emphasize that addressing residents should consist only of their first names without titles unless the resident expresses their preference for use of a title such as Mr. or Mrs. or Ms.”